The Struggle is Real.

Most of the time we look at other women and admire their hair we admire their shoes we admire their children we admire their attitude or confidence sometimes we even admire their man. If we can stop looking at everyone else's outside appearances and try to consider looking more into ourselves then we would be able to see things totally different. For example there's an old saying that you must be trying to keep up with the Joneses. for some this may be true because you are trying to live a life of how you see someone else's outer appearance but you don't know exactly what they're doing on the inside behind closed doors to keep up that appearance on the outside. Everyone goes through some type of struggle or some type of uncomfortable moment in life. some people go through it a lot worse than others but we all have our moments. We have to consider the fact that all of us single, married or in a relationship will experience struggle and when you can accept that then you will be able to move forward because life is not easy. you will always encounter stumbling blocks, Road blocks and obstacles that will come up against you but it up to you to stand tall, be strong and overcome those obstacles so that you may persevere. So don't look at everyone else's outter appearance and think that they have it all together all the time because that's not always the case. So Im going to be very transparent with you for a moment.  When I got a divorce I literally could not purchase anything. I could not buy a home sometimes my credit was so bad they would not even allow me to rent a home. I could not even trade in the car that I had currently that's how bad it was. I stayed like that for at least 2 years after my divorce and finally I said no more will I pay extra money because I like nice things but I don't want to put in the work or downsize temporary in order for me to get what I want later in life. So a few years later after I went through a tenacious breakup and I found myself right back in the same situation again with a whole lot of debt that I had accumulated yet with another man but he had no debt at all everything was totally on me. That was a wake-up call and I said sometimes the lessons that we are taught as children aren't always the scenarios that we need to use in every situation.  At this point I had attended a conference and met a woman that taught me about distinctive wealth building and she told me that they were going to be sacrifices that had to be made if I truly wanted to build distinctive wealth. So I began to make those sacrifices and I saw my credit score increase I saw my bank account increase and I was able to do more things I was able to live a comfortable life. Now, this is the point where some of us get the big head. I knew that I had everything together my credit was good I had a great job I just graduated with my first degree and I was up for promotion. Life was looking really good. So then I began to live beyond my means meaning go and get things that I've always wanted because I knew I was in a position to get it but what I did not know was that I wasn't in a position to retain it. This is very important because sometimes were able to make these huge purchases but we're not able to keep up with the purchases that we've made. This is why it is so important that you budget every month and you know exactly what you have coming in and you know exactly what you have going out. As I was making this mistake I didn't  just affect myself it also affected my children because they were used to a certain standard of living as well.  When I had my Mercedes C230 it was a very sporty car and everyone loved the car and I look good in the car. When people saw me pull up it was like daaaaannnnnggggg!!!! she's the pretty lady that drives the Mercedes! she making money. But what they did not know was that I was so broke, busted and discusted. I was behind in my car note and I was struggling to pay all of my bills because I was trying to hold on to that car because it seemed like it put me in a higher bracket of society.  Lets be real no one wants to tell the story of lack, repossession or depresion because its embarrassing, dicouraging and hurtful. What's so great  about that point in my life was that I was able to use it as a learning tool. God is so faithful and so forgiving that even when we mess up for a second or third time he still affords that's Grace. Ladies I am telling you my stories because I dont want you to make the same mistake eventually I knew what I had to do and that was to turn the car back in and downsize I had to get my budget back on track because I had fallen behind not only in my car note but I begin to fall behind in my mortgage and in my normal monthly bills such as utilities and that's not the way that we're meant to live. God said that he sent his son Jesus Christ that we might live life and live it in abundance. There is no way that living in abundance and debt can live in the same place if you are living your life the right way. So I had to buckle down and that meant that I had to lose cable I had to cut back on cell phone bills I had to cut back on cars and downsize to one car instead of two and cut back on my grocery bills and begin to see where I could save money at in my budget all because I decided to try to keep up with the Joneses. Just know that the struggle is real and even though your struggle may not look like your neighbors struggle everyone goes through it one way or the other. So dont get discouraged and dont lose faith.  Just run your race and run it to the best of your ability because if you run your race and you stay in your lane you are guaranteed to win! 

LaShonda McGee Alexis